In a strong coach–coachee relationship , the relationship itself is part of the intervention. Before GROW, OSKAR, questioning techniques or action plans work, both people need clarity about what this relationship is, what it is not, and what each person owes the other . I would organise the foundations around eight principles . Principle Coach commits to Coachee commits to Why it matters 1. Contracting & clarity Define purpose, process, frequency, confidentiality and boundaries Clarify expectations and desired outcomes Prevents ambiguity 2. Confidentiality Protect what is discussed; explain exceptions beforehand Speak candidly while respecting others' privacy Creates trust 3. Psychological safety Be non-judgmental; allow vulnerability and disagreement Be willing to discuss difficult realities Enables honest exploration 4. Autonomy Don't impose answers or create dependency Own choices and consequences Coaching develops agency 5. Challenge + support Empathise but also confro...
In fact, much of what we now call executive coaching, resilience, self-regulation, cognitive reframing and values-based leadership has striking parallels with Stoic practice —although modern coaching should not simply be relabeled Stoicism. Stoicism → modern coaching The central Stoic question was not "How do I control what happens?" but rather: "Given what has happened, what remains within my agency—and how should I respond?" That is remarkably close to the heart of good coaching. Stoic principle Coaching equivalent Corporate application Dichotomy of control — distinguish what you control from what you don't Circle of influence; locus of control Restructuring, difficult bosses, market changes, missed promotions Examine your judgments Cognitive reframing / CBT-style questioning "My boss rejected my idea" ≠ "My boss doesn't value me" Virtue over external reward Values-based coaching Integrity and purpose rather than title, bonus or appl...